Confessions of a missionary friend

My friend Amanda is serving the Lord in Brazil as a Kindergarten teacher. She is inspiring, to say the least, but her last blog caught my attention. She talked about her struggles right now while she's there. She might be one of the most transparent people I know with her struggles, too. You think of missionaries having struggles but somehow having this "extra" Holy Spirit protection against anything that could make things difficult. I don't know why I think that because nowhere in the scripture do the apostles have that. They struggled in their work, albeit with joy, but there was struggle. Amanda's struggle is with feeling dependent. Dependent on her translators for taking there time while in service to help her understand Portuguese. She wants them to not miss out on the service. Then she admits she just has a dependent issue because she is pretty independent. What a "real" thing to say. Exposing not only her struggle, but all of our nature. She wants to know what it is to fully depend on God. To have joy in that. Man, don't we all. I wanted to give her these pearls that would make this struggle easy, but I didn't have them. You see, I too know what that is. I find myself being dependent on so many things that don't help, don't solve, don't comfort, don't bring everlasting joy. No, I too like Amanda have a need to be independent. If I'm that then I don't have to be accountable. I don't look vulnerable. I don't need anything. I just can be and folks, being who i want to be is often the thing I need to fight. I pray for Amanda that she discerns the help of others in Brazil as her dependency on God in times of need.

Acting in our own self can lead to a mess, even with good intention. She inspires me to teach. She inspires me to be more like Christ. She inspires me to be dependent on the only thing worth having a dependent relationship with. I can't wait for Christmas to see her, my "family", and share in the joy of her serving. Amanda, don't grow weary in well doing, for in due season, we shall reap if we faint not. Dr. York just sent that to me and it was timely for you, too. I'm proud of you in the Lord...

Are you dependent? Seeking dependency on Christ? Trust me, breaking the ties of dependency is incredibly hard when that "thing" is not Christ. I need to keep learning that in my life. Be independent of this world and totally dependent on the one who holds your future and wants to see your good.

Love Ya'll